Behind These Hazel Eyes
by LightSpirit
Summary: My second oneshot fic in which Kerry's half-sister Laura reveals the story of her life and how angry she is with Smithy, who ends up being hurt in a way he never thought. This is part of the backstory to my first oneshot fic 'My Immortal'.


**Behind These Hazel Eyes**

_**To the song 'Behind These Hazel Eyes' by Kelly Clarkson, Laura reveals her deepest, darkest secret and her anger towards Smithy.**_

DCI Jack Meadows, DC Mickey Webb, DI Samantha Nixon, DI Neil Manson, PC Tony Stamp, PC Reg Hollis, DC Terry Perkins, Inspector Gina Gold and Sgt Dale Smith arrived at St Hugh's Hospital. They had come to question a prime suspect; a mysterious teenage girl who they all knew as Laura Mc Andrew. Laura was wanted in connection with the serious assaults on two police officers and criminal damage, but her behaviour before the crimes was what everyone really wanted explained. She had been questions concerning the murder of PC Kerry Young, which happened four years ago and Smithy's relationship with her. She claimed to be a close friend of Kerry's, but it was when she found out about Smithy's other relationships after Kerry's death that her attitude changed. When she confronted Smithy about what she had heard, she attacked him in his office and beat him quite badly with his pulp. But before anyone could catch her, she fled from the scene and disappeared. Not long afterwards, DC Kezia Walker was both found badly beaten and the grave of Louise Larson had been destroyed. All this was somehow connected to Laura but when they rushed to arrest her, they found her badly beaten and bleeding to death what appeared to be from an attempted suicide in an old warehouse, where they also found many photographs of Kerry. Laura was rushed to hospital, but had unfortunately caught a fever and remained unconscious for a while longer. She had just regained consciousness the previous day and had asked to see certain members of the Force, stating she wanted to tell the truth. They instantly assumed that she was going to confess to the assaults and the criminal. The nine officers entered the hospital and were shown to Laura's room. She was lying in bed looking pale and tired. They all stood around her bed and looked at her.

"How are you Laura?" Jack asked in a rather friendly matter.

"I'll live thank you." Laura answered as best as she could.

"The doctors said that you wanted to see us?"

"Yeah, thanks for coming."

"No problem. So what is it you wanted to talk to us about?"

"I wanted to tell you that I haven't been totally honest with all of you, so I asked you all to come because I wanted to tell you the secrets that I've been keeping from you. I know that you've all been asking a lot of questions about me since we first met, so I think it's only fair that I answer those questions now."

"Alright, well go on."

Laura took a deep breath. "I wanted to tell you all who I really am. My surname is not Mc Andrew - that's my mum's surname yes but, I go by my dad's surname. I changed my name when I was 8. And when I tell you what surname I go by, it'll hopefully explain to you my behaviour since I came here - and why I've been so obsessive about Kerry Young. My real surname is Young - Laura Young; that's my real name and yes I have the same name as Kerry and there is a reason for it."

They were listening attentively and Laura took a sheet of paper that was sitting on her bed and handed it to Smithy.

"Here, take a look at my birth certificate. Go on, look at it because it has the answer to why I've been asking so many questions about Kerry."

Smithy hesitatedly took the birth certificate and began to read it with Gina. Something on the certificate obviously caught their attention.

"My mother is Martha Mc Andrew and my father is Graham Young." Laura explained interrupting them and then her eyes filled up with tears. "Kerry was my half-sister."

A shock suddenly came over the nine officers; they were completely speechless for this was not what they were expecting. Smithy was so shocked that he dropped Laura's birth certificate and just stared at her. To show that she wasn't lying, Laura showed them a photograph of herself, Kerry and their dad. Her eyes then turned to Smithy and she looked at him for a few moments before looking away again.

* * *

_**Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me  
I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong  
Your arms around me tight, everything it felt so right  
Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong  
Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep  
I'm barely hanging on**_

"It all happened about 4 years after Kerry's mother died," Laura was telling them her story. "Her father met my mother and they began a relationship. However the relationship ended about two months later. But when it ended, my mother discovered that she was pregnant with me. For some reason she didn't tell my father; instead she kept quiet, fled home to Northern Ireland, gave birth to me 9 months later and kept my existence from dad and Kerry a secret. Dad lived for 7 years not knowing that he had 2 daughters, because you see after so much persuasion from me, mum finally decided to tell dad about me - I was 7 at the time. And of course, dad was shocked to hear about me but he agreed to meet me. I was really happy when I finally met my dad, but at the same time I found out that I had a big sister. At first, Kerry was quite hesitant about accepting me but she finally came round and we both got on so well - we became the very best of friends. I suppose I didn't tell you all who I was at first because I knew that none of you knew I existed. Not even Smithy. It's because I told Kerry not to tell anyone about me because I didn't think it was important and also because we only got to see each other at certain times of the year - Christmas, New Year's, Easter, birthdays - all that sort of thing. And you know when I saw Smithy for the first time, I recognised him instantly; I knew right away who him were. Kerry had given me a full account on him, because we kept in touch through emails. She told me everything really. Dear old Smithy was so hopeless with women. My sister was hopeless with men, well picking them that is, simply because she usually always ended up with the wrong one really. And then they met, found each other. And the future looked so bright for both of them. Kerry had so many hopes and dreams for the future because she was planning a new life for herself with Smithy, but then when her life was taken from her, all those hopes and dreams for the future were shattered into pieces - pieces that could never be brought together again. The reason why I walked into your lives is because I was looking for answers to 3 questions that I had - who killed my sister? Why was she killed? And what ever happened to Smithy? And of course I got those questions answered alright."

"But why did you wait until now?" Jack asked. "Why wait 4 years?"

"Well I didn't actually know what had really happened until a couple of weeks ago. I knew that Kerry had died but I didn't know how. Well not really because you see, when it happened mum told me that Kerry had died from food poisoning - isn't that the dumbest lie you have ever heard to cover up a murder? Apparently I wasn't to know how my sister really died. My mum has given me the cold shoulder ever since, she destroyed me, she put me into this situation. She was never there to comfort me, even though she knew how devastated I was. She watched me cry my eyes out for weeks and she didn't say a word. She never even told me about Kerry's death until after the funeral and that's why I wasn't there because I didn't know. And mum tried to play it off that she didn't know about it until after the funeral. But she knew alright. She just didn't want me going to the funeral because she didn't want me to know how my sister really died. She didn't even let me visit dad anymore."

**_Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes_**

"And why didn't she?"

"Her excuse was that she didn't want me to do anything rational, like going after Kerry's murderer and getting revenge. Claimed that she was trying to protect me from myself, it's really what you get from a mother whose been neglecting you since you were 5 years old. But she was too stupid to realise that 4 years or more is a long time for lying, and that lying for that amount of time could make me do something rational, because it did. I finished school this year and when I did, I secretly booked a flight to London and I did use mum's credit card. And dad didn't know that I was coming because I wanted to surprise him. So I left mum's house and made my way to the airport. Luckily for me, she didn't catch me. When I arrived here in London, I got a taxi to dad's house and when I saw him again after so long I was so happy and so was he. I told him that I had run away because I'd missed him and asked if I could stay with him for a while and he instantly agreed. Now somehow, mum tracked me down and she arranged to come over and bring me home, but it was around then that I discovered the truth about Kerry. You see, dad has a room where he keeps all of Kerry's things - it's actually her old bedroom. I was going through them all on the day mum arrived. But when I was, I found a newspaper from October 2004; the month Kerry died. And as I read it, it was quite an eye opener."

"And that was when you found out that your sister was murdered?"

**_I told you everything, opened up and let you in  
You made me feel alright, for once in my life  
Now all that's left of me is what I pretend to be  
So together, but so broken up inside  
Cause I can't breathe, no I can't sleep  
I'm barely hanging on_**

"Yeah." Laura said sadly. "And when mum arrived, I instantly confronted her about what I had read in an old newspaper. And when pointing out that she'd lied to me, she gave her reasons but I didn't accept them. And sure why should I? She lied to me about everything! I demanded she tell me the truth and she did. And I broke down. I could never forgive her for what she did, she knew how close Kerry and I were. So I told her that I never wanted to see her again and I denounced her as my mother. I then rushed upstairs, packed a few things, told dad that I had some things I needed to do and left the house. And I also told him not to report it to the police or come looking for me. The warehouse that you found me bleeding to death in; I made shelter there but only on a temporary basis. I decided I was going to find who did this to Kerry and why. But when I was looking at what I had packed, I found photos of Smithy and I remembered who he was, and I began to wonder what became of him. Was he still around? Was he dead too? All that sort of stuff. I was actually quite shocked when I saw him which is why I fainted. You see I'd been hunting down every criminal with a gun. As soon as I got their guns I threatened them with the weapons, asking them if they killed Kerry and I believed them when they said they didn't so I let them go. And when I saw Smithy was still around, I thought that maybe he should be the one I should turn to about Kerry. I was really just looking for answers. But it all went horribly wrong. You already know that it was me who attacked Kezia and Smithy, well it was also me who destroyed Louise Larson's grave. But I'm sure you already know that too. After fleeing from the station back to the warehouse, I went to the graveyard that night, found her grave, dug up her coffin, put it on a trailer along her tombstone and brought them to the crematorium. There, I cremated her coffin and her corpse and then I took a hammer and I smashed her tombstone into pieces. And I'm sure you're all wondering why."

"Well would you mind telling us?" Jack asked sternly.

Laura looked around at the nine people looking at her before speaking again.

**_Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes_**

"Because of you!" She said loudly and turning to look at Smithy. "Because of what you did with them. It was all about Kerry and nothing else. When I found out about it all, I did not take it well. But then why should I? Look at me! I'm depressed, I'm mentally broken down after discovering that my sister died from a gunshot wound, and not from eating food that was past its sell by date! I don't know if anyone will accept my plea but that's my defence - depression and a mental breakdown. And in this case, I actually consider it reasonable to be pointing the finger at Smithy this time. I accused you of betraying Kerry's memory, because that's exactly what you've done. You told Kerry that you loved her, you told me just days earlier that you still love her but now after finding out more than I was wanting to know, I'm finding what you told me difficult to believe. That's why I went crazy. That's why I attacked you, that's why I attacked Kezia and that's why I burnt Louise Larson's remains. While I was accusing you of betraying Kerry, I was accusing them of trying to steal you away from her and make you forget all about her. I was so upset and disgusted with your actions and your behaviour so I wanted to punish you for it all. I mean why you? Out of all the men my sister was seriously involved with, why did you have to go and do that? Why couldn't it just have been Cameron and Luke to do that? Why did you have to do the same? I thought you were better than both of them from everything that Kerry told me about you. But I guess I was wrong, because you're just like them."

Smithy felt so hurt by those words; no one had ever said that to him before. But he was actually agreeing with her.

**_Swallow me, then spit me out  
For hating you, I blame myself  
Seeing you, it kills me now  
No, I don't cry on the outside anymore  
Anymore_**

"And I did try to kill myself after realising that I'd committed crimes, I also beat myself up. I tried to punish myself and at the same time called out for help. I slashed my wrists with the sharpest piece of glass I could find in the warehouse. And it obviously must've been dirty or something because I caught an infection, which is how I came down with a fever. I called you because I actually wanted you to find me. Although I wasn't sure if you would arrive in time to save me but you did. I am very grateful that you saved my life, so I thank you for that. But I'm finding it really difficult to let this all go."

She looked back at Smithy, whose eyes were filling with tears. Laura was in tears herself.

"What you did was wrong Smithy! OK? You betrayed Kerry, you betrayed your heart, that married bitch almost got you killed and got you landed in prison because of her violent husband and from what I was told about him, it seems very obvious that she only saw you as an escape route - she didn't care about you Smithy; she only cared about herself! And that other slut almost ruined your reputation as a good policeman because she lusted you! They both did, I'm pretty sure that they never looked at you the way Kerry did! I mean what were you thinking? And I suppose that this is all just from my point of view isn't it? Well if it is, then I don't know what type of a man you are anymore! What happened to the old Smithy? Because this seems like a new one. There's a man standing right in front of me who looks exactly like Dale Smith, but I have no idea who he is. I always wanted to meet you, but now I wish I hadn't. I mean Kerry told me nothing but good things about you. And when she told me how much she loved you and that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with you, I knew that my sister had finally found the right man. And do you know what I kept asking myself over and over again after finding out about your betrayal - would you have still done all that if Kerry was still alive? I even kept on wondering how all of it made her feel. I've turned into a criminal I know, but you've committed a crime too Smithy but this crime is very different from what I've done and the crimes you face everyday. You've committed the worst crime in the world - the crime where there's no violence, no blood, no damage and no weapons. The worst crimes are the crimes of the heart. The man my sister loved doesn't exist. All that's standing in his place is a weak, heartless failure who has failed to remain faithful to the only woman who has ever truly loved him."

**_Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes_**

Laura looked away from him. Smithy couldn't keep his tears concealed; the hurt and pain was just getting too strong.

"I wasn't planning any of this when I arrived here I swear! I just couldn't handle it all because it's just too big a betrayal and it's coming from the one person who meant everything to my sister, the person who she treasured more than anything else in the world. It all made me break down even more. I couldn't let you get away with all of that, so in order to make you realise that you had made the biggest mistakes of your life with those two I, I took matters into my own hands. I did it for you Kerry, I did it for you!"

Laura cried helplessly, while Smithy had his own tears falling from his eyes. He couldn't stay there any longer and ran out of the room to the lift with Gina following him. But Smithy was too fast for Gina. He ran out of the hospital to the area car, got inside and drove off. He knew where he was going, for he had to visit Kerry and tell her that he still loved her and that he was sorry for his betrayal.


End file.
